looking forward to

• watching love actually (finally)
• rereading letters
• cleaning house...organization=clear mind
• a rest day 
• breakfast out
• lighting candles
• listening to new music
• making mix cds

thursday quote

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.”

—	Audrey Hepburn

tunesday: vinyl

so santa brought me an awesome record player for christmas.  i've been playing some of my parent's old vinyl goodness like fleetwood mac and earth wind and fire.  i think a copy of the black keys "el camino" album would be rather lovely as well as florence + the machine "ceremonials".  i love the warm sound and the soothing spinning of the needle.

i'm off to my first pilates class...happy tuesday!

monday quote

“It’s much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave and life doesn’t stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. And I’m going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn’t do or what they didn’t know. I don’t know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. It’s just different. Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it’s okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. I feel infinite.”

—	Stephen Chbosky

merry christmas

wishing you a very merry little christmas.



confession no.1

i like writing quotes and segments from classic novels into my journals just so i can experience what it is like to write seamless thoughts of exceptional prose.

12.23.11

the days have been filled with wrapping gifts and listening to christmas music.  i spent a few hours in a coffee shop last night catching up with a friend.  it's funny how our lives have changed since high school and how things have come together really nicely for once.  it seems as though all those awkward years of growing up were worth it because now all the things that we found important then, that were once make shift senses of self, are fully pieced together.

it's funny how no matter how much time and effort you put into someone or spend with them, they will not change on your doing.  people only change on their own terms.  fact of life.  you will never be able to change people out of their old ways.  they seek comfort in the familiar and the safe...you have to expect that otherwise you're filled with a blinding sense of false hope.  the only person you can change without fail is yourself.  you choose the bounds with which to push yourself and assemble the finish line ahead...and once you cross that line, you make another one even further down the road.  you're the only person that can see it and achieve it.  the line you set for other people leaves them wandering aimlessly.  not really sure where i'm going with this.  mindless mind dumping is all i suppose.

happy friday and warm wishes...two days til christmas!

thursday quote

"When we read a story, we inhabit it. The covers of the book are like a roof and four walls. What is to happen next will take place within the four walls of the story. And this is possible because the story’s voice makes everything its own.”

—	John Berger

tis the season

...to move on from the past and love once again.
...to give fully and truly.
...for warm cups of coffee and hot cocoa.
...for handmade letters and piles of snail mail.
...to sing with abandon to the songs that were engrained in our heads as children.
...for wrapping paper, bow and string.
...to spend the day in pjs.
...for home cooked meals and nights by the fire.

GPOYW

new thermal tees from free people :) thanks mom
chopping my hair off on friday.
loving the free people store displays.  you should join in this month to the 2012 store displays.  write a love letter and mail it in...more info here.  i have some thoughts mulling around of all the things i love.  happy wednesday!

tunesday: pile of new cds

• ceremonials- florence + the machine
• a balloon called moaning- the joy formidable
• fever to tell- yeah yeah yeahs
• actor- st vincent
• mylo xyloto- coldplay
• show your bones- yeah yeah yeahs
• little miss sunshine soundtrack
• lisbon- the walkmen
• baby darling doll face honey- band of skulls
• rebel sweetheart- the wallflowers
• love songs- otis redding
• good news for the people who love bad news- modest mouse

monday quote

“There comes a time in your life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who create it and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all life is too short to be anything but happy.”

—

Karl Marx

christmas break list

• read sylvia plath
• stock up the etsy shop
• workout tons
• eat healthy
• drink lots of water
• clean out the old
• make mix cds
• write letters
• sit in coffee shops

i love my team.

Side note

I find in the times I need to study the most my mind is consumed by the deepest and most thought provoking questions and realizations. Thus a new list on my phone: things to mind dump about later. Also, guiltily listening to Jbiebs holiday pandora, but shhhhhh don't tell anyone. One more final to go. LET'S DO THIS THANG.

thursday quote

“The more I think it over, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

—

Van Gogh

tunesday

go do yourself a favor and listen to the indie holiday station on pandora.
bright eyes, the killers, aztec camera, she & him, coldplay and EVEN jimmy fallon,

tis the season.  happy tuesday my lovely readers :)

monday quote

“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

—	Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

in my head

cars zoom by and i stand there unsure and afraid.  will you be happy or will you be angry, upset and hurt to see me? will your eyes fill with tears and will you sweep me up in a warm embrace or will you turn away coldly and look straight through me?  you turn around the street corner and the unfamiliar sights and sounds fade into an extremely loud silence as i become innately aware of the thousands of thoughts physically flowing through my mind.  memories rush back and we lock eyes.

"and in that moment, i swear we were infinite" if only for a second.

yes this happened at my school last night

so proud to be a hoosier.

no. 7 take a spinning class

check.

i took a few of my team mates to a small spinning studio in town on friday night...it was called happy hour spinning and boy was it one of the best sweat sessions i've ever had!
not only was it challenging, but it was also extremely relaxing like a cleanse, just sweating out all of the negativity and stress from the week.  at one point our instructor had all the lights off with a soothing, repetitive song on and she told us to close our eyes and picture our favorite scenery in our minds.  a view of driving along the west coast on the 101 popped in my mind almost immediately and with no hesitation.  the burning sensation washed out of my legs and i focused on each and every single breath in and out of my lungs.  the slight wind from the fans turned into warm, california air surrounding me with an ocean breeze and for a short time my mind was completely solaced.

crossing off the list.

warming up the house

• crepe paper streamers
• strands of giant colored bulbs
• santa hats
• wrapped presents beneath the charlie brown christmas tree
• classic christmas pandora
• candy canes and hersheys kisses
• gingerbread houses

thursday quote

“We are dying from over thinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. It’s a death trap.”

—	Anthony Hopkins

dear craft store

dear big box craft store to remain unnamed,

thank you for luring me in with an amazing sale price on such a pretty plate to put our christmas cookies on for the team christmas party, but failing to state on the sign "for decorative use only."  so i guess, in actuality, thank you for putting the small disclaimer on the bottom of the plate which i noticed upon washing the dish of the remaining cookie crumbs and smears of vanilla icing...POST consumption.

with love,
semi-concerned cookie consumer and provider

tunesday: young the giant

another swoon worthy indie band
noteworthy tracks: 

• my body
• cough syrup
• apartment
• your side

have a listen.

monday quote

"quiet people have the loudest minds."

-stephen hawking

saturday night

• glitter, glue and pine cones
• corn chowder soup
• gingerbread trailers (collapsed roofs killed the whole house aspect)
• classic christmas music
• good company
• baked christmas cookies
• frosting and candy induced tummy aches
• early to bed
• glow of candle lights
• dollar store adventures

currently

listening to: florence + the machine pandora (switched to indie holiday pandora: steps towards christmas spirit)
sipping:  a bottomless cup of coffee
wearing:  my big comfy free people sweater and feather earrings
thankful for:  my study buddy/team mate/friend and my whim of productivity
doing:  my final english paper
wanting:  christmas spirit
thinking about:  making soup for dinner
missing:  my parents
wishing:  for the right words of advice to give

 happy saturday!

dear december

dear december,
i would like to start off by noting your quick return...in a good way.  it seems as though the rush of summer and fall has reached a climax and is falling into a sense of acceptance.  the story lines have played out and the wonder is lost.  some stories have come to a close and others have reopened and are only beginning.  some stories faded into the background and the once minor characters have become more prominent.  those are the characters you want to keep around...even when they are paid little attention they stick around cause the best is yet to come and the journey is all the fun.

thank you for holiday cups at starbucks and cozy scarves and sweaters.  thank you for christmas music and a season that makes people spend time with the people they love.  thank you for twinkling lights and togetherness.  thank you for reflection of the year that has passed and anticipation for the next.

classes are winding down with finals and an end is in sight.  your month seems to slow time...seeking long hours in the comfort of coffee shops and cuddled up on couches with friends and family...a fire and a warm drink.

thank you for this beautiful time of year.

with love,
sentimental college student seeking bits and pieces of the simple things before growing up became reality (that sounds so emo, but i really need to be myself)

p.s. let's show more love in this month and let the people i care about the most know that i truly do

“Human life is but a series of footnotes to a vast obscure unfinished masterpiece”

—	Vladimir Nabokov

Hold onto the people who see into the depths of your soul and let go of those who stop at the surface and never take the chance really know you. Let go of the people who pretend to care about you fully when really they will never understand. Be thankful for those who grip onto your whole being and take the time to understand what's rooted within you. Don't let them go. They are hard to find and often appear when you least expect it. Cherish them and be happy to have met. Listen carefully and with intrigue and smile because you both share a secret bond that no one can comprehend from the outside looking in.

thank you for the note dear rachel.  by the way, you have swoon worthy handwriting.

20 things to do before 21

1. make an art wall
2. go to France
3. enter at least 2 art challenges
4. photograph bloomington
5. go to 5 concerts
6. read the bell jar and 3 other classic novels
7. take a spinning class
8. take a road trip with friends
9. have an art party
10. do an art collaboration
11. get a record player
12. host a dinner part
13. make pretty paper garland
14. complete another quilt
15. spend a night in the student union 
16. bake a rainbow cake
17. complete an entire journal
18. spend a day writing letters
19. attend a local film festival
20. go on a nerdy day trip

It's my birthday :)

 20

welcome to the next chapter

why oh why monday (warning: extremely vague mind dump)

"stay true to your values and integrity.  what goes around comes around."
(part of my horoscope today...usually i ignore them cause they are made up, but this one kinda hit me)

why am i turning into the person i do not like?  why am i stooping to levels below me?  why do i care what other people think...the people i do not care about?  why do i hold onto superficial relationships just so i can kill them with kindness or not burn a bridge?  why do my values change to accommodate other people?  doesn't that make me just as fake and superficial as those people?  i'm getting served a nice big slice of karma pie.  why do i choose to tamper with who i really am just to play the mind games...just to stir up trouble?  i am responsible for the mess i've created around me...i'm responsible for the bridges i have burned.  cutting ties seems so refreshing like i can move on, but i can never seem to detach them completely or all at once.  why must i hold onto things i choose to let go?

when did i lose myself?  little pieces of me chipped away over time.  things have changed...i can deny it all i want and it won't make any difference.  when did i fill all the crevices in my life with crap and things i have never valued?  the cracks are over flowing and washing out what used to be when i was in hs and didn't talk to anyone.  the time when no one noticed me and i locked myself up at night with paint and fabric and glitter and in most cases, sadness.  i wish i only knew then that i wasn't missing out.

my birthday is tomorrow...turning twenty.  i feel like i'm reversing in age.  i was always so mature growing up and now i'm just like everyone else...caring about the same stuff that will never matter.  someone get me out of here...just for a short time....just so i can go back to who i am instead of faking the happiness or having short spurts of completely disconnected reality.

cheers to a big mug of green tea.  early to bed early to rise.  the rain and the darkness are drowning me in my own thoughts.  cheers to building the good relationships and ridding myself of the all consuming and stressful ones.  cheers to motivation and cleaning out every corner of my technologically constructed reality.  give me a good book.  give me a pen and paper and some stamps.  maybe some cards and a board game.  cheers to deactivating, deleting, unsubscribing and unfollowing and anything else you can do to leave a social networking site.  since when do i meet someone in real life then have to friend and follow them in 5 different facets of non human interaction?  so tempted to delete my birthday from facebook and see who actually remembers it is my birthday and takes the time to call.  rather than "hey happy birthday" from someone i haven't spoken to in years or doesn't even say hi in passing.

i could go on and on with everything running through my head...this is really unorganized mind dumping.  i am tired and i think it's time to watch gossip girl then go to sleep.  doctor's orders.

monday quote

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” - Audrey Hepburn Prepare yourselves for some major mind dumping soon. I've been thinking a lot. Happy Monday!

home sweet home

there is something special about coming home...no matter where you've been or how long you've been away.  it's comforting and time slows down.  college is great fun, don't get me wrong, but it's always nice to take a time out and be completely lazy, eat good food and reconnect with home for a week.  this break home was especially great because i brought home four of my international team mates to spend thanksgiving with my family and friends.  it's nice to share my home town with them...they are like family to me and having a full house for once was fun.  they fit right in like we've known each other all our lives.

we slept late and constantly grazed over a full kitchen of food.  we stayed up enjoying each other's company, disconnected from the world...no agenda, no rush.

coffee dates, birthday dinner, black friday shopping, dance parties, card games, a visit to the city.  now back to the daily grind for 3 more weeks then i'm home for a much needed long break.  so much to be thankful for.

monday: thankful for...

• home • road trips • puppy breath • home cooked meals • Christmas music • friends that are now family • parents • oversized sweatshirts • pomegranate juice • the sound of laughter coming from upstairs • falling asleep to John Mayer • break from classes

sunday: thankful for...

• sleeping in • nicki minaj to make it through an elliptical sesh • twitter • glitter • green tea • lazy days on the couch with the roomies and on demand • obscure new music • new nail colors • getting away

saturday: thankful for...

• tie dye pjs
• bottomless cups of coffee
• local eateries
• study buddies
• the black keys
• adorable coffee mugs
• dorm food
• clothing boutiques
• notes from friends
• happy crying
• indiana basketball

Friday: thankful for...

In the spirit of thanksgiving: •the strokes •the feeling of waking up and realizing its Friday •coffee •a room mate hug •marcel the shell •starbucks holiday cups  •cute boys in lecture halls •candles and John Mayer  •fresh sheets •naps

thursday quote

"Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It’s not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it’s when you’ve had everything to do, and you’ve done it."

-Margaret Thatcher

10 things i hate

1. gossip
2. gossip
3. gossip
4. gossip
5. gossip
6. gossip
7. gossip
8. gossip
9. gossip
10. gossip 

time to take out the trash.

fragments

New restaurant with cozy hipster appeal. A wall full of little notes and 
remnants comes together with well wishes, love and hope. Good music plays on 
the stereo and I feel warm and happy.  You know those moments when you want to 
cry cause it just feels right? I'm having one right now. Window sills full of 
trinkets. Human interaction. Smiles and laughter. All of the subtleties are just 
proofs of love. Proof that happiness is all around and when you don't feel it, 
you just aren't looking hard enough or you're turning a blind eye. I'm having a 
moment so give me a break if this seems emo-ish or completely obscure. I'm just 
having a ramble sesh. I guess I'll just end with a hug sounds great right about 
now.

tunesday: coldplay

coldplay is knocking my socks off this week.  i've had all their albums on shuffle as i cleaned and napped this weekend.  i want to get their new album so badly and my room mates and i have been talking about finding them in concert sometime in the near future.

i'm convinced that one of the first slow dances at my wedding (some day) will be "sparks".  that song gives me the chills!  it is eerily beautiful...enjoy!

saturday sophistication

 

saturday was full of sophistication.  i headed to the bloomington handmade market with this lovely lady, rachel.  we ooed and ahhed over swoon-worthy handmade items and lusted for crafty goodness.  there were some awesome vendors and i'll link up some favorites below.

later some team mates and i headed to our favorite coffee shop to study and sip bottomless cups of Guatemalan coffee and enjoy soothing music.  after we treated ourselves to a french dinner and felt so sophisticated in our nice outfits having a nice meal together.  it was a perfect saturday followed by the laziest sunday ever.  i cleaned today, did laundry and lounged around.  the roomies and i went to our favorite soup place for warm cups of zucchini pesto soup on this windy and gray sky day.  i must say i am enjoying our tennis off season now.  only 8 hours a week of practice/conditioning rather than 20.  tonight we are going to try a zumba class.  trying new things is going well for me.

i'm feeling very content with life right now.  this wintery weather makes me want to cuddle up with my own thoughts and realize how lucky i am to be surrounded by people i love and people who care about me.  they say college is the best years of your life...i can tell why: a whole lot of freedom and just enough responsibility.  i'm turning 20 in 16 days.  i think this early onset sense of sophistication is in anticipation of starting my 20s.  i'm kinda liking it.

looking forward to going home for thanksgiving break in a week.  four of my international team mates will be joining me at home.  it'll be a nice break from btown and great time spent with family and the new puppy.  i miss my home town and the cozy familiarity along the little downtown streets.  looking forward to home cooked meals, visits to my favorite restaurants and more lazy days.


hope you are all having a cozy sunday.  sunday night means meditation night in this house so i'm excited for that too :)

crafty love from the handmade market:
opposite of far: fox mask and hair bows
purple hippo stitches: funny cross stitch
katie vernon: illustration, adorable animal prints
megan winn: beautiful leather journals
courtney fischer: BEAUTIFUL unique jewelry
sara b jewelry: SWOON, the sand dollar ring is my fave

weekly goals

[i made this at 3am when i couldn't sleep]

• try new things
• use 15 minute windows to accomplish something
• exercise extra
• eat clean foods (limit processed foods)
• tidy up

last night some team mates and i tried a kickboxing/cardio class after practice.  it was so much fun and i completely felt like a bad ass.  we are going to try zumba and a hip hop class later this week.  i'm also trying to increase my productivity and when i find lulls in my day to upwards of 15 minutes.  i think i can never get anything done so i just browse on my phone or sit and stare.  i have found that i can accomlpish a lot in those 15 minutes.  i've started completing little bits of school work or putting away that pile of laundry that has been on my floor for a week. (oops)  my room mates and i have also created a calendar that we cross off for not eating sweets.  it helps to see how much i was indulging before.  i really want to be fit for tennis season in the spring and if it's one of my major goals i want to stick with it and hold myself accountable.  lists and crosses keep me in check.  i feel very satisfied with a big red marker.

happy saturday lovlies!  go out and try something new...you may fall in love with it.

thursday quote

Tunesday: Local Natives

listening to "who knows who cares" by local natives a TON.  it reminds me of the movie where the wild things are and i love its dreamy and hopeful undertones.

noteworthy tracks: wide eyes, airplane, sticky thread

instagram monday

today was a beautiful fall day on campus...busted out the sperry boots and a dress.  in other news, welcomed a new pup into the fam yesterday.  isn't she adorable?

tonight i ventured to a new coffee shop to write a paper for english and was also able to cross something off of my bucket list which was to try bubble tea.  it sounds like such a fun delicious treat, but i wasn't too sold.  i'm not even considering the fact that it's dangerous to drink because once those tapioca beads get stuck in your straw you're sure to choke yourself whilst over compensating on the following sip.

dreaming of over-sized sweaters, oxfords and pumpkin spiced lattes.  this morning i tried to pull off the whole tights-under-shorts look and i just wasn't gutsy enough to strut it.

happy monday :)

Sunday Quote

“The answer is never the answer. What’s really interesting is the mystery. If you seek the mystery instead of the answer, you’ll always be seeking. I’ve never seen anybody really find the answer. They think they have, so they stop thinking. But the job is to seek mystery, evoke mystery, plant a garden in which strange plants grow and mysteries bloom. The need for mystery is greater than the need for an answer.”
-Ken Kesey

Thursday Quote

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

 --ralph waldo emmerson                                            

hello november

please be good to me. here's to focus and determination. to new habits and motivation. to staying true to yourself and loving fully. to being unselfish. to turning 20. to discipline and extra work...charging to the finish line rather than staying afloat. to reading before bed and drinking green tea. to supporting friends who support in return.

november...the month to kick ass at everything. hello game face...six weeks left of the semester. let's go!

Tunesday: Bon Iver

Blowing up my ipod before bed this week: Bon Iver self titled album

Hit Track: "skinny love" by definition when two people are in love with eachother but are too shy to admit it. yet they show it

Noteworthy tracks: all of them "creature fear", "flume", "for emma"

Soundtrack to: reading before bed, being sad and thoughtful by choice, candle sessions

Happy Halloween

Sunday Quote

“In periods of rapid personal change, we pass through life as though we are spell-cast. We speak in sentences that end before finishing. We sleep heavily because we need to ask so many questions as we dream alone. We bump into others and feel bashful at recognizing souls so similar to ourselves.”

- Douglas Coupland

photo credit

Thursday Quote

"So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them."

--Sylvia Plath

Tunesday: Foster the People

lately Foster the People has been blowing up my car stereo, my ipod and my pandora (it's a really great station). I am in love, and the guys are pretty cute too...brownie points/swoon factor

soundtrack to: running on the beach, new sperrys, sunset porch party

most of you may know their hit "pumped up kicks", but i am a huge fan of the whole album.
noteworthy tracks: call it what you want, helena beat, i would do anything for you and miss you

feather obsession

{grey and turquoise nails}

i made this feather headband after a desperate trip to michaels and my decision to be pocahontas for halloween. as you can see i'm very feather obsessed with the vase of peacock feathers and my summer county fair earrings find.

this sweet card came in the mail from my mom today. definitely put a smile on my face and came at the right time. moms know best.

happy happy monday.