stop at nothing

push yourself.  go hard the last straight away and never look back.  the time is now.  this is it then you''re home free.  life is good.  live it.

monday quote

"And my first bit of free advice is this: You are alive. Your whole life is still before you. More terrible things will happen to you. Wonderful things will happen, too. Don’t run from life. Embrace it."

Robin Jones Gunn

coffee shop slumber

opening up one of my fave local coffee shops today.  it's rainy outside and a bottomless cup of joe is in store for my long day of studies.  it's winding down...changes are in store.  it's sad, but exciting.  a new season, new endeavors, new relationships...a change of scenery.

things i'm looking forward to the most this summer:

• reading for pleasure
• making stuff
• coffee shop inhabitance
• walking my dogs
• early morning gym time
• walking down third street

i've had the pleasure of meeting people that challenge me and bring out the best in me.  people that make me think and appreciate all that i have in my life.  there's something thrilling about someone who wants to figure you out per say and understand how the insides of your brain twist and turn.  those people delve into the depths of my mind and soul and i wake up with a sense of wonder and question until we meet again.  funny to think how often those people have been under your nose for quite some time.  they surprise you unexpectedly.  the right people will come at the right time.  always.

happy saturday

thursday quote

"I love her and that’s the beginning of everything."

~ F.Scott Fitzgerald

monday quote

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you"

Nat King Cole

5 good things

• cupcakes • confetti cards • making eye contact from across a room • wrapping gifts • game day

and it will never be the same

Getting all nostalgic. It's those early hours of the morning, the hours of complete silence that let me know I am blessed. It's that feeling you get when you know you're going to leave a place and when you come back it will never be the same. The kind of silence that makes you want to lay still and hold time and space in that light before the sun creeps through and washes across the room. It's a slight feeling of sadness mixed with relief that I am addicted to. It lets me know I care, that I'm changing.

thurday quote

"And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees-just as things grow fast in movies-I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer."

~ The Great Gatsby

night drive

My heart is pounding in my head. I'm feeling too much and my mind is the steady 
pulse easing out the love and the pain into a distant yet familiar divide. Into 
the same abyss in which I eventually throw it all away...in this twisted pattern 
of inner peace and constant question.  Making happiness complicated only to find 
myself unhappy. Forcing love where it isn't felt and ripping it apart where it 
truly exists. Pushing and pulling. A continuous ebb and flow between altered 
states of mind.

 
At some point life goes on. But when? When can life go on after loss? When can a 
sense of normalcy be felt? Closure? When does the cycle stop for me? When does 
that wall fall down to unpaved roads?  Why do I feel this oddly familiar hurt?
 

The thing is, I expect it now. I plan for it almost. This one is on me.  My 
heart is pounding in my head and my head is shifting gears to take over and 
drive it all home on those familiar back roads. The shorter the trip the better.  
Wake me up when we get there cause I've seen this view before. 

5 good things

1. coffee
2. air hugs
3. soft serve ice cream
4. clean sheets
5. pineapple cilantro candle

monday quote

"It’s that feeling when you hear your favorite song…that feeling whether you’re in a car or a party or alone at home in bed, and you hear the song and it hits you so strong…that’s sort of my favorite thing about music."

Julian Casablancas

thursday quote

"Somehow she knew that you didn’t get many moments like this in your life: moments when you knew, without any doubt, that you were alive, when you felt the air in your lungs and the wet grass beneath your feet and the cotton on your skin; moments when you were completely in the present, when neither the past nor the future mattered."

Wall, Neil Gaiman

you can try not to love, but it'll just hurt you.  it comes and goes with people, but everyone just wants to love and be loved so you let it be.  it's hard not to love.  who are you saving it for?  if you can give love and feel it in return it's an amazing feeling.

why would you want to hold it all in?  it's kind of selfish.  best to love when you get the chance than to not love at all.

and lost love...it empties your heart to make room for a greater love you've never felt before.  it never takes a piece away.  by loving you make your heart bigger each and every day.

confession no. 5

my future home will have colorful alphabet refrigerator magnets.

realizations

(i painted this on friday.  inspiration from free people.)

• a lap doesn't exist unless you are sitting.  where does it go?
• one will fall asleep much faster if getting into a made bed rather than an unmade bed.  it's just comfier, you know?
• the school paper will never rank your day in your horoscope below a 6 on a 1-10 scale.  might as well be a 6-10 scale.  thanks for giving me a 6...worst day ever?

monday quote

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it."

Roald Dahl

thursday quote

"Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something and has lost something."

H. Jackson Brown, Jr

ballin shoes

source

tunesday

With the birds I'll share this lonely view.

monday quote

"I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."

Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27  1850

dear april,

 {upcycled goodwill monet replica}

Give me belief. Help me believe I am far greater than anything that can happen 
to me. I will not only walk with confidence, but I will embody it through 
everything I do. Lose the negative self talk. Wash it away in your showers.  
April, help me think before I speak. Is it true?  Is it helpful? Is it 
inspiring? Is it necessary? And is it kind? 
April will be all about heart. Putting it on the line. Being true to myself. 
Embracing the people I care about and overriding my mind. With heart, I can do 
anything and I can be that light for someone else. Let my heart shine through. 

kayla